One good thing from these months in lockdown has been writing this story. I have cleared out a lot of old papers and the next task is to go through the music scores, cassettes, videos, CDs and books! Dreams have been very vivid often about the library and past events. I have been attending Sylvan Road death cafe since it started and learnt a lot from it. The thought of dying alone is awful and that is what is happening to so many at this time. I would want a priest to come and hear my last confession (I admit to not going to confession as much as I should!) and the last rites. Communion has been such a part of my life and it is so sad not to receive at this time. But I am reluctant to go back to church until it really is safe and there is a vaccine, much as I miss the people and the music making. The cathedral has been very disappointing in not keeping in touch. Only Christina White of the friends on Facebook and some of the servers families on email have contacted us despite messages sent. Caterham has a weekly zoom and emails from Susan but there has been nothing about my contract. The Mass is on You tube on Sundays. St John's have been great with phone calls from Fr John, messages from Daniel and Tom, a weekly zoom on Sundays, Masses on You tube and zoom (one of those so far) and the weekly quiet time zoom on Tuesdays. Richard has sent email suggestions of music to listen to and Adrian has been in touch on email. Catenians are reluctant to zoom but I hope to "attend" Beckenham on Monday.
I have prepared for my funeral and provided a list of people to contact. It is in the metal box in the study. Ideally I would stay at home as long as possible but if I had to go into a care home so be it. St Christopher's Hospice is a wonderful place and the care there cannot be matched so that would be ideal. Be happy that I am at last at home with God and meeting again Mum and Dad and all my friends and family. I hope to be brave at the end and not cry too much at saying goodbye. Love is the most important thing! Be kind and smile.
I can see that my world would become much smaller as it did for Mum and Dad but there is still so much to live for and enjoy! Operas, theatre, Shakespeare, books, praying, playing the piano and singing, painting, enjoying the garden, reading - plenty to keep me occupied. Above all the family on zoom or the phone.
I have prepared for my funeral and provided a list of people to contact. It is in the metal box in the study. Ideally I would stay at home as long as possible but if I had to go into a care home so be it. St Christopher's Hospice is a wonderful place and the care there cannot be matched so that would be ideal. Be happy that I am at last at home with God and meeting again Mum and Dad and all my friends and family. I hope to be brave at the end and not cry too much at saying goodbye. Love is the most important thing! Be kind and smile.
I can see that my world would become much smaller as it did for Mum and Dad but there is still so much to live for and enjoy! Operas, theatre, Shakespeare, books, praying, playing the piano and singing, painting, enjoying the garden, reading - plenty to keep me occupied. Above all the family on zoom or the phone.
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